Talk to my wife and she will tell you, my pickup lines are as effective as a duck hook. But, when it comes to golf speak, I know a thing or two about catching one’s attention.
This post is a stray away from my usual work, as I am giving you 50 golf pick up lines to help you score. I will do my best to keep it as clean as possible, and provide tips to both genders looking to pick a golf loving partner.
Despite the thousands of dirty golf pick up lines out there, I will save you from creeping out strangers, with witty, intellectual direct propositions.
1. Looking at you makes me feel like I just made a hole in one.
2. Are you sure your parents didn’t win all four majors? Because you’re a Grand Slam.
3. Are you sure you aren’t an Albatross? Because you are a rare catch.
4. I’ve been watching your putt and you have the perfect line.
5. Your balls are wayward, let me coach you to get them into the hole.
6. You are like a water hazard… Once my balls go in, I can’t get them out.
7. You remind me of a Pro V1 golf ball… Soft, sexy and expensive.
8. You are better than par.
9. You look like someone who enjoys a good swing.
10. I’m currently a one ball, why don’t you find two friends and we can form a foursome.
11. The line of your putt curves in those pants.
12. My golf number may be high, but grab my phone number and we can go low.
13. Your legs are like a long drive… Lengthy, beautiful and allows an easy approach to the hole.
14. My shots aren’t usually long and straight, but I have something that is.
15. You are like a carry golf bag… Light, attractive and easy to handle.
16. Are you a golf cart? Because I could drive you around the golf course.
17. Damn girl, I’m not one for defeat, but with your swing I will let you beat me all day.
18. I like my men like the U.S Open… Long and hard, let’s play around and see how low you can go.
19. You are like a fairway, short, well-groomed and a pleasure to hit on.
20. I will treat you like a Fijian golfer and make your V-Jay Sing.
21. You remind me of golf range balls, mature and tough.
22. How about you and I improve our stroke play together?
23. You must be tired of all the attention because you are a major winner.
24. You must be a slice because you are Mr. Right.
25. Are you a water hazard, because you are making me wet.
26. My golf coach says I have a firm grip… Why don’t you be the judge of that.
27. We could be boring and play strokeplay, or we could strip down and try skins.
28. Hey baby, I am like a Trackman simulator, fun, detailed and worth the investment.
29. Let’s act like we are 3 under par, and shoot for a 69.
30. You remind me of a controlled draw, because your curves are perfect.
31. I’m no professional, but meeting you makes me a major winner.
32. You are like an undulated green… Hard to read, but gorgeous and soft.
33. Would you mind being my caddy? I need someone to protect my shaft and balls through 18-holes.
34. You seem like someone I should get to know. Let’s play 9 and see where it goes?
35. I don’t need a caddy tonight for washing balls, mine are already clean and raring to go. I need a golfer who can handle her tools.
36. I enjoy my men like a sand trap… Dirty, soft and unpredictable.
37. You remind me of the 5th hole at The Abaco Club… You’re stunning and easily driveable.
38. You have never met a golfer with a more delicate stroke than me.
39. We need one more player for our foursome… Would you make this the best round of our lives and join us?
40. I need a partner who can challenge me on the golf course, and based on your swing you are that person.
41. I’ll let you do things to me that no one else is allowed to, like beat me in a round of golf.
42. I prefer well trimmed grass, but if needed, I can perform from the bush.
43. I need your help urgently. I keep missing my putts and need you to help me guide my balls to the hole.
44. You must know how to shape your shots, because you consist of fine curves.
45. You look like you are struggling with your swing. Why don’t you come to my place and we will work on it before playing around.
46. Do you mind if I take a picture of you? I have never seen so much jaw dropping beauty on a golf course.
47. You are responsible for my bad golf. Your beauty caused me to forget how to swing.
48. Would you mind checking my scorecard for me? It seems like I am missing a number – yours.
49. You make me feel like a crisp iron shot, because I’m feeling a strong connection.
50. Your butt reminds me of the Pebble Beach greens at the 2019 U.S Open… Hard and firm.
Matt Stevens
Matt Callcott-Stevens started playing golf at the age of 4 when Rory Sabattini’s father put a 7-iron and putter in his hand. He has experienced all the highs and lows the game can throw at you and has now settled down as a professional golf writer. He holds a Postgraduate in Sports Marketing and has played golf for 28 years.