Memories, they are a funny thing. The more time between the present and the past, the more construed they seem to get. The lore builds with every passing day and the fondness, or lack thereof, builds with them.
Do you really remember what had transpired on that day, or do you just remember the last time you thought about that moment? Each recollection skews the truth. No one’s mind is perfect. Emotions and thoughts can be voiced and sifted through, but rarely if ever can they be replicated with 100% accuracy.
The digital age has brokered a digital bridge, but an unintended consequence may be additional blurriness. Bias sets in depending on the current mood — a happy day can produce a lighter version of the truth, a darker one the opposite.
It can be difficult to remember the exact feelings one held at that exact time in that exact place — even more so if the memories are painful. People change with age, their perceptions as well. Wisdom has been gained, innocence has been shedded and someone different is left trying to decode the past moment.
Only six years have passed since Rory McIlroy stepped onto the first tee of the 2019 Open with all eyes on him. To some, including McIlroy himself, it may seem like a lifetime ago.
He arrived back in his native lands — only an hour away from the place he calls home — as a Players Championship and Canadian Open winner already that season. The first Open of his lifetime in Northern Ireland was supposed to be a grand homecoming. Celebrations were to be had as a serious run at the Claret Jug seemed certain.
Everyone in the crowd had McIlroy on the mind, those outside the confines of Royal Portrush as well.
“I think I remember … the ovation I got on the first tee on Thursday and not being prepared for it or not being ready for how I was going to feel or what I was going to feel,” McIlroy said. “Then the golf on Thursday feels like a bit of a blur. I try to forget that part of it.”
Everyone else remembers. A tee shot pulled left of internal out of bounds led to an opening 8 on the scorecard and a subsequent 79 once he completed the remaining 17 holes of the first round. At the site where he set a course record with a 61 at age 16 — McIlroy recalls that was “the first time I’d ever felt in the zone or that flow state or whatever you want to call it” — the local lad languished.
That stark collapse provided the broad strokes of his 2019 Open experience, but his climb out of the hole provided the color which paints the resilience that has defined McIlroy six years later.
“I remember the run on Friday,” he said.
An improvement tallied at 14 strokes came calling in the second round with the Ulsterman threatening the cutline as storms threatened the horizon. Donning a dark gray sweater to match the sky, McIlroy marched on tacking on birdie after birdie, including three in a row after the turn to inject life among the opened umbrellas outside the ropes.
“I remember I was making a charge and making a run to try to make the cut, and I hit a 6 iron into the 14th, second shot, and I remember the roar from the crowd,” McIlroy continued. “It was sort of getting a little dark, and it was overcast, and for whatever reason, that’s the one thing I remember is that shot and that roar of the crowd and walking up to that green and getting a standing ovation.”
He continued: “It was really special. I wish I had have been here for two more days to get a bit more of that and experience it. But hopefully I can change that this week.”
Despite the disappointment, the memory remains a positive one for Rory. And it’s what subtly makes McIlroy … McIlroy — his ability to learn from the bad, block it out and carry on with the good.
It’s why he was able to recently describe — in excruciating detail — the Saturday night before his first PGA Tour win at Quail Hollow in 2010. He recalled what he watched on television, where he ate dinner and the hour he went to bed. He remembered playing well the week before at (ironically enough) Royal Portrush, his playing partners over the weekend and the shots that secured his first title.
He remembers the routing at Portrush not of the 2019 Open but of when he signed for that course-record 61. He remembers how badly his fellow countrymen wanted him to win even when all hope was lost. All negativity seemingly brushed away in the seaside air.
What memories McIlroy makes this week remain to be seen — they will largely be dictated by his play and his responses to adversity — but it is clear early on that he is embracing his place in the arena unlike last time when he chose to isolate.
McIlroy understands people will look back at the time he returned home as a Masters champion with the career grand slam in tow. And he hopes he will, too.
“The fact that I’m here at Portrush with the green jacket, having completed that lifelong dream, I want to do my best this week to enjoy everything that comes my way and enjoy the reaction of the fans and enjoy being in front of them and playing in front of them,” he said.
“But at the same time, I want to win this golf tournament, and I feel like I’m very capable of doing that.”